What is reunion?

In a little more than a week, I will go to Texas to meet my mother’s family. This is what the adoption literature calls reunion, and adoptees will often refer to themselves as being in reunion after they have made contact with their natural families. But I do not feel like I am in reunion.

Reunion. Re-union. Union, again. To re-unite, you have to have been united before.

I don’t know these people. They seem nice. And I’ve actually met some of them before, when I was an infant, so I guess it is a bit of a reunion in that sense. But the key union upon which all the rest of this reuniting rests will itself have no reunion.

I will visit my mother’s grave, lay my hands on the ground above her ashes, and try to feel close to her. I hope it works. I hope something does.

A few feet of packed soil.

I wonder if international adoptees feel closer to their mothers when they touch the ocean.


13 Responses to “What is reunion?”

  1. 1 Amy August 1, 2007 at 5:14 am

    I wish you peace on your journey. If you are close to Wichita Falls and it gets too heavy, hollar at me. I’m near there and can be there shortly if you need it.

  2. 2 jackiejdajda August 1, 2007 at 1:08 pm

    I also wish you peace on your journey..


  3. 3 Mark Diebel August 1, 2007 at 3:01 pm

    blessings on your journey… and i agree, re-union isn’t the right word at all… it is just the one at hand.

  4. 4 suz August 1, 2007 at 5:21 pm

    good god. tissue warning please. this gave me a huge owie in my heart.


  5. 5 Elizabeth August 1, 2007 at 5:58 pm

    Also wishing you peace on your journey.

    “Reunion” is a convenient word to use, but I’ve never liked it either.

  6. 6 abebech August 1, 2007 at 6:59 pm

    I don’t have words for the sadness that I feel reading this.
    I’m just so sorry, but that’s so very inadequate.

  7. 7 thoughtful1 August 1, 2007 at 11:20 pm

    “I wonder if international adoptees feel closer to their mothers when they touch the ocean.”

    I don’t. But the Pacific is pretty damn big, and Korea is far away.

    I wish you well on meeting your mother’s family.

  8. 8 mlassi August 1, 2007 at 11:34 pm

    I can relate to feeling the term reunion doesnt apply. My nfather called my finding him and our ultimately meeting a “discovery”. Best wishes.

  9. 9 Gayle August 2, 2007 at 3:55 am

    I second the request for tissue warning.

    Reunion always seems a funny word to me as well. It sounds as if it is the final act where it is really just the beginning.

    My first mother is Irish and I’m Australian so lot’s of Irish things make me feel closer to her. Or miss her more. Depending on my mood!

    Your trip sounds heartwrenching. Hope all goes well.


  10. 10 Possum August 2, 2007 at 11:16 am

    Thinking of you & hoping you find some of what you’re looking for.
    Poss. xxxx

  11. 11 stewie August 3, 2007 at 1:54 am

    Well, I haven’t felt closer to my overseas mother by touching the ocean, but by looking up at the sky alot. Thinking about her seeing the same stars…you could try that too during your visit…I hope you can feel some connection when you visit your mother’s grave. I’m thinking good thoughts for you for a safe peaceful meaningful journey.

  12. 12 joy21 August 3, 2007 at 6:52 am

    Oh wow, are you finding yourself doing weird stuff yet?

    I find myself very avoidant in times like this, and finding strange ways to procrastinate.

  13. 13 iBastard August 5, 2007 at 7:08 pm

    Thanks, everyone. Yeah, I’m acting pretty weird. My wife is doing an amazing job of putting up with me. I’m really moody and it’s hard to think about the upcoming visit but it’s hard to think about anything else, either.

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