She’s… so pop-u-lar!

Sometimes I think adoptees have some kind of latent telepathy or hive mind thing going. Not seriously, of course, otherwise by now we would surely have formed a vast conspiracy controlling the world’s economies for our own nefarious purposes while simultaneously maintaining a façade of lost souls on the internet trying to figure out who and what we are. And that’s just ridiculous, no way such a thing could be true! Hahahahahaha! Such a silly idea!

But anyway, one of the things that’s been on our hive mind a lot lately (here, here, and here–the Vietnamese team takes all three medals in this event!) is anger and bitterness, and how these ways of describing (and dismissing) any adoptee who harbors any negative feelings about adoption at all just won’t go away. I’ve written about this too (several times now), and I would fall over from shock if there haven’t been a dozen others, but it just won’t go away. It’s really frustrating! Some variant of “angry adoptee” shows up just about every day on the search engine hits for my blog, and I don’t know if it’s from some adoptee who really is angry looking for like minded folk, or what.

It’s tiresome and I’ll try to shut up about it, or maybe just find a way to joke about it, but I know I can’t really let it go as long as I keep encountering it. Like misheard lyrics to a popular song, the idea of the angry/bitter adoptee just keeps coming back again and again no matter how many people we try to correct, no matter how thoughtfully and carefully we try to explain. I guess it’s just the cross-eyed bear that you gave to me.


5 Responses to “She’s… so pop-u-lar!”

  1. 1 Mark Diebel July 27, 2007 at 12:58 pm

    It used to have cache to be “angry”… as in the “angry young men” of the sixties. Angry bastard ain’t bad?!

  2. 2 justenjoyhim July 27, 2007 at 3:09 pm

    Maybe 1 — some? — of you can make it into a catchy song?

    I dunno, after all, I’m just a bewildered, entitled adoptive parent 😉 .

  3. 3 Andie D. July 27, 2007 at 5:03 pm

    Dude, are you actually saying that not every single adoptee is angry and bitter? WTF? Do we have to revoke your membership now? How could you sell our asses out like that?

    Your dirty tricks, you make me sick, I see through you. I see through you.

  4. 4 Amy July 27, 2007 at 10:20 pm

    Don’t feel too bad. UterineWars called me that along with Paragraphien. What is bad is that I have gotten tons of traffic as a result.I don’t think I am all that “angry.”

  5. 5 thoughtful1 July 27, 2007 at 11:37 pm

    Two thoughts:

    1. I would imagine an angry, bitter adoptee would be one of the first to get PO’ed if another adoptee presumed to speak for us all. Yet, at times, it is the angry adoptees who end acting as if they are speaking for us all. Hrmph.

    2. I suspect at times I come off sounding like an angry adoptee. There are two reasons. First, there are specific aspects about adoption that make me angry – how white privilege is built into the system, how adoptees and adoptive parents can be reduced to things: objects to obtain and objects to exploit, etc. Second, I can feel my blood pressure rise when I know how I am feeling and the opinions I have go against the norm and I have to assert myself a little more just to be heard. Or to get through. Or my tone changes to make an anecdote I’m telling more dramatic just so people LISTEN. It’s like I’m backed into a corner and I have to fight my way out.

    Having said that, I do honestly believe that it is possible to have been adopted and be perfectly, happily, fine with it. And for those who are, good for you! I’m happy for you.

    Btw, if I am being left out of the Great Adoptee Conspiracy Theory, you are not helping my abandonment/rejection issues! 😉

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