I CAN HAS GOOGLEZ?

I had a great laugh this morning that I just can’t keep to myself even if I’m being a bit self-indulgent by posting about it. WordPress keeps track of search engine terms that people use to find my blog, and I usually like to look at them when I check my blog stats because sometimes people have found my blog by searching for really weird things, like “how can I bother my sister” which is probably my favorite so far. Anyhow, when I checked my blog stats this morning I found these:

how do you know you’re a loser ibastard 2
ibastard you’re a TOTAL asshole 1
delusional idiot ibastard 1
how do you know youre a LOSER ibastard 1
loser gay stupid ibastard 1
fat dick ibastard 1
ibastard you’re an asshole 1
need medication ibastard 1
loser ibastard 1

I gotta hand it to whoever did it, that’s pretty clever! Though I think some of the longer ones must have been cut off. Oh well. I lolled anyhow.

I’d like to encourage a little more creativity in the future. I think a lot of obvious ones were missed: “ibastard is gay for fat dick”, “ibastard has a loose asshole” and “ibastard has no dick” all work, for example. Maybe I should have a little contest for the funniest “insulting” search engine hit.

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8 Responses to “I CAN HAS GOOGLEZ?”


  1. 1 suz July 9, 2007 at 7:43 pm

    bahaha. love it. so funny.

  2. 2 joyjoy July 9, 2007 at 8:32 pm

    Oh dear I wonder WHO on earth’s fee fees got hurt enough to do that?

  3. 3 iBastard July 9, 2007 at 8:35 pm

    I should add that I don’t actually find “gay” or other assertions/implications of homosexuality to be insulting, I was just following the pattern.

  4. 4 iBastard July 9, 2007 at 8:50 pm

    Oooh, someone’s at it again! Check this one out:

    ibastard is an asshole loser adoptee (2 hits for that!)

    It’s true, and I have joined a support group for other adoptees who have lost their assholes. I wish I had a picture of my asshole so I could post it with the caption HAVE YOU SEEN ME? but it’s funny the things you never think to photograph until they’re gone.

  5. 5 Coleman Moms and Babes July 9, 2007 at 11:59 pm

    I checked my stats today. You came up on my blog as a donkey ass. I went to google with it to see and it came up to my blog. Don’ t ask why. I come under a bad reunion and angry adoptee. Oh well. lol

  6. 6 joy21 July 10, 2007 at 1:21 am

    I will let you know if I see an asshole running loose, I saw one on the internet just last week.

  7. 7 imtina July 10, 2007 at 7:46 am

    Are you sure there’s no picture because we need to get that out to the milk carton people – STAT.

    I think that confused, ex-pat poets from the North need to graduate from jr. high and then try and:

    a. Find a personality
    b. Get a real job

    Sigh….

  8. 8 Bastardette July 11, 2007 at 5:43 pm

    I don’t use WordPress but my site meter gives me similar information. I admit I haven’t been searched under asshole or loser (that I know of), but the best search term has been: douche bag Rod Parsley.” BTW, I just found your blog going through my stats and Ill be commenting more.


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