I don’t care if you don’t take me seriously.

Okay, okay, it’s not a segue if you don’t actually follow up and do what you were supposed to be segueing to. I’m a little embarrassed that this is the second entry I’ve made since my attempted segue into a discussion of international surrogacy and the commodification of reproduction and I’m still posting about other stuff. Can a segue be put on hold and still be a segue? Or should I go back and remove all mention of a segue in order to cover my tracks? Well, in any case this just can’t be helped because I have just been informed that some people on the Internet might not be taking me seriously.

The Internet is serious business.

You see, apparently the online behavior of adult adoptees is, let us say, less than might be expected by those who think we seek to impress them. Some of them have been informing us of late that our conduct is unbecoming, and that if we wish to be taken seriously we must shape up, stop calling people names, stop making fun of people just because we think they’re stupid and hilarious, sit up straight, stop swearing, brush our teeth, stop touching ourselves, and keep that racket down or they’re gonna turn this Internet around right now!

Internet. Serious business.

It really amazes me, when I see the degree to which adoptees are willing to bare their souls to strangers, that anyone would say that we are behaving in a way that makes it hard for others to take us seriously. But what is more amazing to me is that some of these people think it should actually matter to us that they do not take us seriously. Who cares? Cross-triad discourse is a miserable failure from the adoptee perspective; at best all we do is wind up giving reassurances and advice, and get very little in return. Open records efforts have been most successful where we’ve taken our case directly to the public. Why should we ingratiate ourselves to anyone just to be taken seriously?

In fact, it’s really impossible to be taken seriously this way. People who don’t take us seriously already won’t take us seriously unless they have to, and trying to get them to take us seriously by making nice is proof to both parties that they do not have to take us seriously, and they won’t. I think that’s a pretty good general rule, not just for adoptees but for everyone: Anyone who holds taking you seriously hostage has no intention of ever taking you seriously and will not do so until you make them.

Internet.  Serious business.I think there is only one way for adoptees to ever be taken seriously, and that’s for us to keep telling our stories, remain critical of the practices and culture of adoption, and do everything we can to get other adoptees to start speaking up, no matter what anyone else says. Our stories are real and compelling and once every adoptee’s voice is added to the chorus it will be very dangerous to not take us seriously.

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11 Responses to “I don’t care if you don’t take me seriously.”


  1. 1 joyjoy July 8, 2007 at 9:17 am

    That’s right, if you don’t stop this right now * joy joy says while grabbing iBastard by the upper arm* I am going to stop this internet RIGHT NOW.

    Is that what you want? Do you want me to stop this internet right now? Because we are going home young man!

    Puuuhhhlleeze learn to treat these internet haters with some respect.

  2. 2 Sue July 8, 2007 at 4:32 pm

    I b rollin on teh flor laffin meh assus off. Den I b stoppin cuz ntrunut v. v. seeryus.

  3. 3 m July 8, 2007 at 10:36 pm

    Why do you use terminology like “Baby Tom”? I understand the point you are trying to make, but that term is offensive for other reasons. Why use it?

  4. 4 iBastard July 9, 2007 at 12:01 am

    Nothing is offensive without being offensive to someone. Are you offended by it? Why? If not, who made you the offensiveness police and why should I care?

  5. 5 m July 9, 2007 at 12:23 am

    I’m offended because the term is racist. I was curious how you would defend it. But, I guess you really didn’t defend it.

    Why should you care? Because you’ve got a cause and I think you will lose people’s respect if you demonstrate lack of caution with your choice of words. It’s a PR concern.

    I am not telling you to be concerned with ME personally. It’s much bigger than that. I don’t make or break anything or anybody.

    Maybe it’s my problem …..I always have a hard time watching people shoot themselves in the feet, especially when they don’t deserve it.

  6. 6 Julie July 9, 2007 at 1:02 am

    Uncle Tom

    noun
    1. offensive and derogatory name for a Black man who is abjectly servile and deferential to Whites

    Baby Tom

    noun
    1. offensive and derogatory name for an adoptee who is abjectly servile and deferential to adopters and/or the multi billion dollar adoption industry

    “Our stories are real and compelling and once every adoptee’s voice is added to the chorus it will be very dangerous to not take us seriously.”

    Yes, yes and YES!!

  7. 7 iBastard July 9, 2007 at 4:31 am

    I disagree that the term is racist. If I thought it was racist, I wouldn’t use it. If you can convince me that it’s racist, I will stop using it. If you’re thinking of trying to convince me of that, then I hope you have done at least some postgraduate coursework in formal semantics or discourse analysis, as I have.

  8. 8 joy21 July 9, 2007 at 8:26 am

    I don’t agree the term is racist either, and I have not done any work in post grad. semantics, if it were to be racist, it would condemn a race.

    Its more like the all cats are gray thing. I forget this, you know remember the whole

    A = B

    B does not equal A

    Okay I am totally forgetting but My cat is gray does not equal all cats are gray.

    All mothers are women but not all women are mothers. It is def. a perjorative term, but I also don’t agree that it is racist.

    All Uncle Toms are Black, but not all Blacks are Uncle Toms.

  9. 9 Amris July 9, 2007 at 2:20 pm

    You had me until you said I had to quit touching myself.

    Then I got so angry that I just went back to my old ways.

    Better luck next time!

  10. 10 Julie July 9, 2007 at 3:05 pm

    Just in case I was too subtle in my earlier comment, I don’t think the term is racist either.


  1. 1 taking shit seriously « Wes Unruh Trackback on July 9, 2007 at 9:32 pm

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