Attention, adoptive parents.

It has come to my attention that some of you are using the “wrong tummy” story to talk to your adopted children about adoption. This story was first popularized by Rosie O’Donnel in an interview with Phil Donahue.

Do not say this to a child, ever. Seriously, stop being “amazed by the miracle of adoption” for a few minutes and think about this. What are you actually saying here? In other words, what are the implications of this ridiculous story that your child will eventually work out on his or her own? Because adoptees do think about adoption when you’re not around, you know, and we don’t tell our adoptive parents everything we are thinking about it.

“God accidentally put you in the wrong tummy. You are one of God’s accidents, which according to most religions aren’t supposed to happen in the first place. You are His misdelivered mail. And God would never have put you in that woman’s tummy if He had been paying attention enough to notice how unfit she was to be your mother. Yes, the woman who gave birth to you and whose genes you carry would have been unfit in the eyes of God, if He had been looking.

“I, on the other hand, am much better in the eyes of God than the woman in whose tummy He had accidently put you. Or I would be, if God had looked, which He obviously hadn’t since otherwise He would have put you in my tummy instead hers. This is why we had to correct one of God’s mistakes. Namely, your birth to a woman unfit to be your mother. Namely, you.”

What is wrong with you people? Do you know how you sound? Do you think about the things you say for even one minute before you say them? When I read adoptive parent blogs and forum postings, I am continually amazed by the thoughtless things you people are willing to say, publicly and in writing, but this one takes the cake.


6 Responses to “Attention, adoptive parents.”

  1. 1 3 Generations of Adoption June 13, 2007 at 4:10 pm

    Which God is she talking about? Not the God I know. Last time I checked, my God had yet to commit a mistake. But then again, Rosie’s God is Rosie.

  2. 2 Julie June 13, 2007 at 4:13 pm

    My hat is off to you, iBastard!!! Thank you so much for saying this “out loud,” and for working this ghastly misnomer to its logical conclusion. I’m adding you to my blogroll. Blessings on you. Keep it up!!

  3. 3 joy June 13, 2007 at 5:45 pm

    God, more cake takers, I hate that.

  4. 4 justenjoyhim June 13, 2007 at 6:22 pm

    Wow, that one is just insane.

  5. 5 Valentina July 5, 2007 at 7:30 am


    I was a bit surprised to see the third one you pointed us to wasn’t an adoptive parent speaking.

    Reading adoptive parents’ writing is sometimes comforting – some are constantly learning and trying to somehow reconcile their own desires with the best interests of their children and perhaps their children’s relatives. Their blinders and rose-colored glasses are off, tucked away, usually due to them doing the work of educating themselves. Often, though, I start to feel angry or sick at what they write and so I try to avoid reading their thoughts. I feel much more comfortable reading the writings of adoptees (especially searching or reunited) and of their first relatives (all).

  1. 1 Homofauxbia and the Third World Womb « iBastard Trackback on July 3, 2007 at 4:08 am

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