Inspired by Sig’s recent comment about the Adoption Apparel Translator, we here at Bastardly Designs have decided to finally get over the problems which we obviously have with adoption and cash in on the international adoption craze! Do you have a special child in your life who “is from Guatemala but you cannot tell (as she is rather light skinned)?” Do you “love her country and want to adopt more from there?” Do you want to tell the world but the “Guatemalan Princess” shirt just isn’t cutting it anymore? Do you feel the need to assure the whole blogosphere that “no one would accuse [you] with (sic) sleeping with a Mexican?”
Well, we’re not sure what to tell you about the last one but for the rest, we are proud to present Bastardly Designs first iron-on transfer for your little Guatling, which we have named the “Sig Sig Sputnik” in honor of our number one fan Sig’s far out need to broadcast these facts around the world!
Drum roll, please…
And if you order now, we will include a free stick for your enjoyment!
Oh!! You guys are sooooooo naughty!!! I am ashamed to say that I am laughing.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
That’s all I can manage to get out right now. Thank you very much.
OMFG this is EXQUISITE!!!
Not nearly exquisite enough, however, as the pain that unfortunate girl is going to suffer.
Holy crap, I’m just glad I wasn’t drinking coffee or I would have been down a keyboard is all I can say.
I don’t suppose you want to take on my boss after you’re done here? [I'll pay you, dammit!!]
Holy shit! I love it!
ROFLMAO…. JUST ROLLING. Dang you get all the good ones.
You are a total asshole and my dark skinned Guatemalan daughter agrees.Go get a laugh (and a topic).
I am too stupid to read the comments policy or notice what happened to the last person who posted insulting comments even though they served as the inspiration for the post I’m so offended by. My stolen Guatemalan daughter will undoubtedly be relieved to learn that she is not genetically related to me. Please let my idiotic behavior serve as an example to others.
Meant go get a “life” of course. Obviously, anything will make you laugh.P.S. I enjoy sex with barnyard animals.
I am too stupid to learn from my mistakes or recognize that no one is forcing me to read this blog. I am trying to start an argument with someone who thinks I am a complete idiot and doesn’t give a fuck what I have to say. Also, one time I [Okay, that was pretty gross even though it was funny, and I'm taking it out because suddenly I started getting all this porn related spam.]
Notice how she had to announce that her child was a “dark skinned” Guatemalan! I’ll bet she starts out a lot of conversations by stating “I’m not a racist….”
As usual, iB, you’ve got me laughing and nodding my head in agreement simultaneously. That is so painfully true. My guess is the current generation of adoptees are going to be so angry & bitter that they’re going to make us look like sweet little angels.
I am loving the comments re-configurator machina.
Thought you might enjoy the following by the talented Kevin Minh Allen from the “Transracial Abductees” website :
Middle-class wives
can’t get enough of these infants.
So adoptable, adaptable,
so contractually obligated
to fit neatly in a grateful paradigm.
After their husbands hand over the check
that greases the palms of the minister of interior,
who dropkicks the orphans over the border,
these sunburnt women catch them in their gardening
hats
and shine them on their aprons,
like so many apples in a bowl.
Wow. Thank you, Julie. It’s not just that I agree with the sentiment; it’s actually very good poetry. He really is talented.
DAMN IT – I was drinking coffee.
I’m off to order in a shit load of new keyboards – me thinks I’ll be needing them.
Thanks for the laugh.
Poss.. xx
Apparently I get off on this sort of thing. Like many other adopters, I have an exaggerated sense of my own importance and the importance of what I have to say. I think strangers on the internet will take my insults and attempts at criticism (always given in that order) seriously because I am an adoptive parent and you should all listen to me! Why aren’t you listening to me? I KNOW YOU CAN HEAR ME! DON’T MAKE ME COME UP THERE MISTER!! I AM A VERY IMPORTANT PERSON!!!
Someone please remind me why I’m standing at the bottom of this hole holding a shovel. Do you think it’s time I was moved from the mod filter to the spam filter? I am certainly getting very tiresome. But first… donkey show!
That’s it, I’m bored. No more giving this masochist what she obviously wants.
Ohh my goodness, and here I was just writing my thesis on insane comments from adoptive parents on blogs, must change topic to fun with editing comments abilities on blogs.
You are one hilarious bastard!
“no one would accuse [you] with (sic) sleeping with a Mexican?”
Hey! I’ve been sleeping with a Mexican for the last six years and love it! His family doesn’t even mind that I am a 5′10, blond, fair, gringa because I know some Spanish
And they don’t even mind that I’m adopted.
Believe me, I do not think there is anything wrong with that. It’s funny the way transracial adoptive parents are about things like that, though. Like going out of their way to make sure everyone knows they didn’t.
Thanks for taking my comment the way it was intended (as a joke!)
One of the things I find distasteful is how whitebread, adoptive parents, who’s only contact with another culture (even another regional US culture) is in a restaurant, decide to adopt a child from a group so different than their own. They falsely believe in a “color blind” society that doesn’t really exist and will be ineffective in teaching their child how to cope in the real world.
“It’s funny the way transracial adoptive parents are about things like that, though.” That is bizarre that they would take attitude! The kids will probably pick up on that and then how will they feel?
Enjoy your writing very much!